Last night we had a fight. I told him I was planning on moving out. It did not go well as expected. We ended up arguing over Set. He calling me a liar as well as other things. I know he was hurt and defensive and lashing out. And I really didn't care.
I was numb and disconnected from a lot of the incident. I know I love a part of him. But now, after five years, I know that love isn't enough. You would have thought I learned that with the other one.
Today at work one of the police officers who recognized him as belonging to me let him in to give me a surprise. He has never brought me flowers nor done anything like this in the entire time we have
been together.
He said he wanted to keep trying. I just don't think I can. I know he is scared to be on his own and he has a lot of challenges with the Aspergers. I just can't take care of him, my daughter and myself at the same time. It is too much. He will never accept that SHE will always come first, at his, and my own, expense.
It just hurts so much when I think about it after the arguments are done; when I get to survey the damage left after the storm.
Love and pretty flowers aren't enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Politeness and respect required when leaving a message.