Blah

My assignment today surrounded me with people I don't have a connection with and am highly suspicious of.  Thus I have been mostly alone today.  I'm ok with that.  When I go home it will be different.  

I don't want to go home.  It isn't home. It is....a house with stuff in it.  I hope that sometime soon I can fix that.

Coming to work I realized that what I was feeling the past several days was that of bereft.  There is something missing.

I think I did do something good today.  A patient touched my heart with our similar circumstances.  I was able to be there to support them through their fear and able to celebrate with them in their joy and hope.

It awakened a still tender and healing part. It still hurts after all this time. Working on many built up years of grieving will take time and will be difficult and painful. I will get there one day.